For the past few days, from time to time, I would have a sense of guilt come over me when the blog came to mind. I'm pushing day 10 without a post. I really don't know how Judy and Bonnie, in addition to so many others, can do it all. Day after day, two, three, sometimes four posts a day.
I've been fighting a funk. I think much of it has to do with school starting up right around the corner. I've felt some minor anxiety attacks come on; I really don't know what else to call them. School creeps into my mind, and my heart-rate kicks up; I get a slight feeling of nausea. **sigh** I just realllllly want a good year this year. I'm tired of not liking what my perception has become of our school. And honestly, when I talk to other teachers around the nation and hear their stories, I really need to accept the realization that the profession has simply changed all OVER our nation; it's not just isolated to our District. The PRESSURE I feel .... when I think of administration evaluations, admin expectations and directives being handed down to us with little inservice training time.... student evaluations and scores affecting my future.... new texts and new lessons with such little precious preparation time during the day.
grrrrr........
I. WILL. SUCCEED. THIS. YEAR. I won't be beat down this year. LOL.
It's quite simple. I don't like anxiety. And that's what I feel right now when school comes to mind.
Guess it's something I need to work on and figure out.
In the meantime, I HAVE been keeping busy behind the lack-of-blogging time.
The "Peaches and Cream" mill-ends baby afghan is complete. 30"x38"
The pattern was a one-row repeat, so very easy.... and quite redundant by the end. @_@
So, this cute little purse caught my eye next....
The pattern did not specify how much yarn was needed, so I took a guess.
NOPERS! Three balls of Aunt Lydia's plum crochet thread size 3 was NOT enough. Therefore, it is being set aside until I get some more.
This is the first time I've used such a small 'yarn.' And I LOVE it for this purse pattern! Can't wait to get a finish out of it.
AND THEN.... Scarf City Central baby.
I have a few more scarfs in the works; all to improve my wardrobe :) Heaven knows, I be needin' some style!
So, there ya have it.
Of course, the garden has also called my name from time to time. Peas and cucumbers mostly so far. However, the past two days, I have avoided the outdoors if/when I could. **sigh** Ragweed has reared its ugly face, and is in full bloom. I picked up my renewed allergy medicine prescription this morning, and I've been reminded this afternoon of the feeling I have during the initial onset of my medicine regimen. Loopy, druggy, and "out of body" feeling.
LOL. I have so many excuses flying around in my head about why I haven't been in the garden as much as I should. Why I haven't been out running like I should. Why I haven't been quilting like I could. Why the house hasn't been cleaned. Why the girls' closets haven't been sorted.
But really..... I'm just in a funk. I don't feel like doing much of anything, except sitting, putting my feet up, and crocheting.
How's that for honesty?
Happy Saturday everyone!
8 comments:
I've been in a "funk" since September 2011. As with you, mine started with school and carried over into the upkeep of home and health. I will keep positive thoughts flowing your way for a fantastic school year. Hopefully, we will both have a good year!
I can't believe how fast you are cranking out the lovely crochet projects! I feel for you with your school anxiety. It was more than I could handle so I am staying out of it. Not sure what the future holds for me but I don't think teaching will be back in the cards...
I do know exactly where you are coming from. I spent so much time last year tied up in knots over budget cuts, increased workload and new evaluations. In the end though, I walk into my classroom, shut the door, and everything else fades a bit. The heart of my job, a classroom full of students and a topic I care deeply about, they can't take that away. Yes, I have an extra class full of students everyday, and yes, there is less time to get ready, but it isn't their fault anymore than it is mine, so I'll just keep doing what I do as well as I can manage and hope for the rest to work itself out. What else is there?
Like they say, "Honesty is the best policy." It looks like you've been plenty busy....and having way too much fun with those scarves. You be stylin' this year at school.
As for school, I'm not a teacher, but have friends who are and I think they all feel the same way. Why can't teachers just be left alone to teach and not have the state & feds constantly push more regulations and evaluations on them. Most teachers try really hard to teach students what they need to know, but if the student can't or won't learn everybody wants to blame the teacher. My teacher friends talk about how big the textbooks are and how are they supposed to get through all that in one school year. They get told to start on chapter 17 or chapter 27 because anything before that won't be on the "TESTS". Such BS.
I wish you well this year.
I can very much relate Amy...been there, done that, still doing it! I try to remind myself that anxiety is my "friend", and a signal to help me to figure out what I need to change to make life better for me and my family. Take good care of yourself and crochet your way through the thoughts and the answers will come to you.
I'm sorry that you're feeling rather down, but you've been keeping busy with crochet. I agree with you about the teaching, it's the same in the UK too. I found the last couple of years before I retired very unrewarding, and Number One Son has just completed his first year as a teacher and quit because he couldn't cope with the amount of admin he had to do. He loved the teaching itself, but not the rest.
You may be in a blogging funk, but, MY WORD!!!!!! You are a crocheting machine WOMAN! LOL I am amazed at how many things you have made!
Way to go on the scarfs! I have a Packer on just like yours that a friend gifted me..can't wait to put it on on game days (when the temp is under 90 lol!). I hear ya on all the teaching expectations and such...I sometimes wish we were at this stage of life during the 80's when all was good and life was easier for folks. You can succeed! I have no doubts!
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