Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What is sanity, after all?

Sanity considered as a legal term denotes that an individual is of sound mind and therefore can bear legal responsibility for his or her actions. A theory of sanity was proposed by Alfred Korzybski : he believed that sanity was tied to the structural fit or lack of it between our reactions to the world and what is actually going on in the world. (definitions courtesy of Wikipedia)

So, as I sit here, trying to get a grasp on everything that has been happening over the past couple of weeks, and all that needs to happen within the next two weeks, I must ask myself "Have I met Korzybski's definition?"

As I ramble on tonight, feel free to tune me out at anytime. There will be no quilting discussed, unless it comes as a by-product of attempting to bring myself back to some solid structure of sanity. The ramblings tonight serve one purpose: to get my mind structured and organized and feeling a bit more confident that things really aren't as bad as what my mind is perceiving things to be.

I have found myself sitting lately, frozen by the feeling of being overwhelmed, and unable to be productive because of these stressful feelings. I know I have a mounting pile of tasks; but I truly am feeling that the mountain is about ready to erupt.
I have had moments of accomplishments, only to find that things have been half-finished; or I've become busy with some other task and left other things sitting, left to be forgotten. ONLY to come back to those "forgotten" things minutes/hours later, and then I am right back to the overwhelmingness feelings. A spiral that is frustratingly NOT coming to an end.

So.....first, my list......WHAT must be done within the next day?
**a moment of panic, because my brain has shut down! It can't prioritize!! Ahhhhhhhhh!**
Okay....breathe, breathe......
Okay----something small and simple: Must have coaches meeting at 7:45 to help Marching Band instructor plan rehearsals in August. Okay...check.
Next, teach 1st hour Web Design (students working on projects, so I should have some time to work on grading their projects). Okay...check. 2nd and 3rd hour bring Algebra and Math 8; both classes will have daily tasks that are already set and established. okay...check. Then....PREP time! Holy buckets---what to do first?!?!??!?! (((***no, no...don't panic---**)))
  • Professional Development Team minutes must be finalized and given to Chair person.
  • JV Volleyball summer league information needs to be typed up and copies before the 2:50 meeting
  • Math 8 assessments need to be graded (holy cow! That'll take close to three hours!!! Must find Nikki (student aid) to help me out)
  • Awards for JH Awards Program need to be made. Okay...well....the program isn't until next Tuesday, so this may need to wait until Thursday's PREP time.
  • ah yes....one of the most dreaded...make a decision regarding Varsity Badger State tournament: do I support this or not? This has been my most dreaded decision as of lately. I have two girls really pushing the others into signing the "team" up, but.....well, to be matter of fact, there isn't a team yet. Yeah.....there's another "con" about not signing up. (I have been typing up a Pros vs. Cons list of why to or not to sign the "not-really-existent" varsity team up for Badger State Volleyball Tournament at the end of June. Only a handful of solid, varsity players are returning; we lost quite a few athletes to graduation. Of the girls that are potential, no one has stepped foot on a varsity level court, and I bottom-line don't want any ugliness to happen prior to season starting.)) We all know what can happen to a "squad" of girls, that have never played together before, and when two of them feel they "run the show." Ummm....UGH! I just don't like it! By my ramblings here, it seems that I've made my decision already; I do not support the choice of the "team" to compete at Badger State. In addition to any "cat-fights" that could go on, rumors have already been started that some girls have some "not-so-good-for-the-team" intentions (ie: alcoholic drinking). Ugh! JUST NOT what is needed going into a season where every girl has an important part on the court; however, every girl can also be replaceable.

    On a somewhat related, but not related note......much needed decision-making and communication is not being handled positively by some staff at the JH level (and even HS level). We are struggling in a few areas simply because communication hasn't been so straight-forward by the administration and/or other parties involved at the school. Summer school is right around the corner; staff have had their student-recommendations in for over a month, but today was the first that we've heard that any action is being taken. I've kind of lost track of other concerns I had in regards to commmunication (lack of communication) because I've simply gone to the mind-set "to each their own" and "fend for yourself." This 2nd attitude has quite possibly put me at the brunt of much "hallway gossip" because I think I've been sticking my nose in to some places it doesn't belong, BUT......Well......THEN COMMUNICATE WITH US ALREADY! (calm....calm....calm down.......)

    And then...there's the not-so-prioritized tasks that are so remotely listed at items #29 and #30 that I wonder if I'll ever get to them........the School's website is in need of updates-----tsha! Let's find THAT time, shall we??? And who needs supplies for next school year? I must not because finding time to get some lists together via catalogs isn't even on the radar screen yet. I suppose I could also try to clone myself 5 different times, but sadly I fear that my life would get even crazier (you've all seen Multiplicity right???)

    Okay.....so...where does this post leave me?

    1) Vented
    2) At least a bit more decisive regarding the Badger State Vball tournament
    3) confirmed that in order to things to happen, we need the "movers and shakers" of this world.

    Well folks, Watch me shake......

    final note: no sympathy comments needed---really. I just needed to journal tonight and get some of my thoughts in writing. Tomorrow, I'm sure I'll come back and have some different view-points on things I shared tonight; and I may decide to delete this post altogether for fear that it could be misinterpretted in the wrong hands.....

    Happy Tuesday going out to you!

    Amanda said...

    It sounds as if you definitely need a holiday!

    Patchwork Penguin said...

    Maybe you need to downsize your list...... learning to say no is hard.

    Worried about you from PA


    Laurel said...

    Amy, I sympathize. But I have three words to help you....

    Ask for help and get others involved. Ok, so some of your items can't be delegated (grading the Math 8 assignments), but I bet some enterprising kid would love some extra credit and would update the website. That would get it off your plate and give a growth opportunity to a deserving student.

    Breathe and take it easy.


    Andee said...

    When I started reading your post I thought I would advise you to just put one foot in front of the other and it would all get done, but looking at your list and organization I see you are already doing that. So it will all be fine and it will all get done...your sanity will be tested, but will be intact at the end! You CAN do it!

    scraphappy said...

    Seriously, we've all been exactly there. Although it doesn't seem that way now, all that NEEDS to get done will and eventaully the list will end. How many many more days?

    Dawn said...

    I'm with Amanda...I think a vacation is long over due!!

    BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

    Do not panic! Please remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop. Heheheheee
    We all get overwhelmed now and then and writing it down does sometimes help. Hang in there, and we're here anytime you need to vent!

    Julie said...

    You go girl!! I feel overwhelmed all the time. LOL. It is good to see I am not the only one who gets paralyzed when there is just too much to do.

    Calidore said...

    Been there, doing that. I'm now working on the theory if it isn't done then it wasn't important and if someone wants to winge about the fact something wasn't done then they should have got off their butt and done it. Simple.....well ok probably not but I do sympathise and am sending calming thoughts your way.